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I wandered until I was lost. Trodding sodden ground, clutching the blackness of obsidian destruction. A temporal fascination, overbearingly familiar, like déjà vu, surfacing from the cold dark waters of a buried consciousness, a buried light. White is deathly, like pale fingers creeping in to paint splotches of scaled down readiness across a canvas of nothingness.

The bleak of winter would comfort me now. In a world where spring is springing, where greens and blues decay under the whiteness of my sliding spirit. I am darkness in this light. This encompassing trend of rising to the occasion has been lost on me.

I feel as though the zigzag of humanity’s crumpling form is winding around me. I have learned this lesson before. I have learned to distrust. My weary ways have haunted me, have coalesced around this storm that swirls throughout my being. I am sick.

The grit and dew sparkle like dogmas cradled within the hierarchies of man. I have learned to love and hate in equal measure. I have tasted the waxen futility of this fight. This war on life. Control is today’s special. Beating the innocence out of the disciples of creation. My creation is eating me alive. Conquered and devoured. I can’t twist my view to the periphery of this room. My prison cell, I built it from the gifts I was given.

I wandered until I was lost, and now,

I’m not quite sure I ever want to be found.

+Lj