Author: lauryn jean

Poet, Writer, Artist

Soliloquy

My heart is aching
It wants to fucking burst
leave trails and droplets
of the beauty i see
All around me in everything
I wish i could tear myself open
nursing failed wounds
and callous hands
But roots are to be forgiven
here in the dust storms of forgotten dreams
Planting seeds, and
surrounding all things like
A lover sees
When stroking the cheek of that
One
True
Feeling
Like a beating wing, but
Drowned
in the halos of unforseen imaginings


I
am
weak
here
in this limitless
floating
vestal Orbit
Wild and untainted
in sights and visions
ages of future memories
And i weave,
long and unbent
my Fingers crawling
ever crawling
drawing designs in the fabirc of what we think is Time
I am alive
Survived
hypocrisy and the lies
the hiding of Truth
and stifling the
one most loving gift
of them all,
that frail spark of
Humanity
lying within the Stardust
swirling between my eyes


And i,
I
Am
Just
Me,
Let
Me
Be
Alone
Here
in this soliloquy

+Lj

Once

We floated away, once,
bellies down, drowning in dreams
You used to wake at 3 am
wild-eyed and aware
Now it’s empty here,
and I’m alone
watching the shadows
slide across the ceiling
Spilling secrets
and pieces of eternity
Reminding me
of how fleeting
fickle hearts can be

+Lj

Pandora’s Birth

I remember waking in the stale air of a cave – a womb inside a desolate earth, but not my earth.
This place was foreign and savage, filled with hate and pain and vast seas of red blooded rage.

There were molten moons rising all around, skeletal greys, pale greens and sickly ambers.
They rose over the horizon of this ethereal alien world to taunt my darkened senses.

I wasn’t relenting, and I refused to grow into those long grooves and veins that encapsulated the faces of Saturn’s lovers. Those straining epitaphs of exploding red suns beating as a broken heart deep down at the bottom of his bottomless ocean.

My skin rebelled against the atmosphere of that crater, crawling with nebulous tides of encroaching ice floes. Thirsty, poisonous smog growing thicker with my breathing.

I was stranded.

My limbs sank into a giving ghost land, striving to understand this meaningless motion.

Saturn floating under my belly, I tried to take my eyes from the burning red orbs calling forth great tidal waves of an unnameable ocean.

Monstrous moons warped time, warping size, crossing a boundary that was totally contrived.

I gave in and observed the monstrous growth of the giant suns, the breathing pulse of their fires, the eternal explosion of life.

Now death.

But Life again.

The waves of this changing tide burned red in reflections, calling me out to seek the blue.

The green, the Earth in between.

I gave in and
I made you.

+Lj

Love Was an Old Brick Road

Once we carried wishes in our mouths, our bleeding hearts choked up on poetry and whiskey, the nostalgia of childhood dreams.

When romance was the ocean calling us down to the shore, we ran in rhythm to the pulse of the waves, and stripped down beyond our naked vulnerability, plunged ourselves deep into the indigo of what we thought we’d have.

When love was an old brick road, we danced in rhythm to the beat of the setting sun, kissed his feet goodnight and worshipped the moon as she rose.

Love was an old brick road, but somewhere along that path our travel plans unraveled, and I ended up walking alone.

+LJ

High Tide

My spirit called out from inside, told me the meaning of life, demanded geometry. So I slid into the waters of those rising tides and let the currents of myth carry me out into the deep.

I let myself sink into the blue, hoped to find answers to every unsung question making melodies in my brain. I landed among the thorns, crustacean symphonies waking the eternity within human bones. I wanted to carve out a place for my heart, a coral edifice teeming with life and eggs and memories, I wanted to find that place of solitude hiding within sea caves and crashing waves, but I couldn’t find my breath. I drowned then, inhaled the salt and spray of mineral absolution, and I left my body on the beach for the seabirds to mull over.

I remained my Self though, a wild creature of sand and seaweed, a creature of Life as it sits, no real dogma, no real time. I remained myself, and I learned to live.

+Lj