Soliloquy

My heart is aching
It wants to fucking burst
leave trails and droplets
of the beauty i see
All around me in everything
I wish i could tear myself open
nursing failed wounds
and callous hands
But roots are to be forgiven
here in the dust storms of forgotten dreams
Planting seeds, and
surrounding all things like
A lover sees
When stroking the cheek of that
One
True
Feeling
Like a beating wing, but
Drowned
in the halos of unforseen imaginings


I
am
weak
here
in this limitless
floating
vestal Orbit
Wild and untainted
in sights and visions
ages of future memories
And i weave,
long and unbent
my Fingers crawling
ever crawling
drawing designs in the fabirc of what we think is Time
I am alive
Survived
hypocrisy and the lies
the hiding of Truth
and stifling the
one most loving gift
of them all,
that frail spark of
Humanity
lying within the Stardust
swirling between my eyes


And i,
I
Am
Just
Me,
Let
Me
Be
Alone
Here
in this soliloquy

+Lj

Once

We floated away, once,
bellies down, drowning in dreams
You used to wake at 3 am
wild-eyed and aware
Now it’s empty here,
and I’m alone
watching the shadows
slide across the ceiling
Spilling secrets
and pieces of eternity
Reminding me
of how fleeting
fickle hearts can be

+Lj

Heresy

I’m not here to make it pretty
or to make it all blend in

I’ve come here to tear down walls

Fuck shit up

devour this blasphemous law-

This, nanotech conscripted scripture
that I wanna blow apart

I’m not here to make it simple
or to cave into demands

I’m standing here to
          burn this bridge
and        
remind you
        of your sins

+Lj

extraordinary

Go ahead, ruffle my feathers.
I’ve never really cared for the ordinary,
the small talk, the mundane paste
of this grey world.

No…

I want red and gold and sparkling luminescence.
I want deep conversation, intellectual stimulation.
A chance meeting of
2 fated souls,
Fiery spirits
Raw beings with chipped edges along the porcelain blushed boundaries of our mutual longings.

I yearn for the extraordinary, the misplaced,
the out of place,
The odd.

I want the fevered passion of blazing hearts
bursting with the need to
feel each other’s beat.

I want the music of laughter and light and Life,
the sliding of souls
so sublime
and delicate
and wrecked
That
I cannot help but
fall in Love.

+Lj

the Forge

Heat surrounds me as I walk between the Anvil and the Hammer. I am smelted, molten iron waiting to be formed and reformed, quenched under cold water, hardened again and again until firm and strong,

Flexible, ensuring I become unbreakable.

I turn around, looking, watching, searching for the Armorer,
the Forge-master,
the Liberator,
the Commander of these flames (building to higher intensity—higher Stability)

I am shaped again, between the Anvil and the Hammer,
stronger, as this new molten alloy is injected in my veins.

I am liquid glowing steel shaped anew.

Hammered, beaten, brought to the barrel until the edge is clean and razor sharp,

Made flexible again, made unbreakable once more.

Stronger in this second life, this second cycle,

twice-born to learn, to evolve, to lead and become more than I was and more than I could be.

The fire burns higher and hotter, flames tonguing my female flesh, lapping at my neck and cheeks and lips,
entering through my breath and mingling with my Earthly form.

And I become the Armorer,
the Forge-master,
the Liberator,

the Commander of these fever flames,

I am Steel, charged with cold fury, shaped to a seamless edge, power to slice,

and here I take my leave and employ my Vengeance.
Blade in Body I stand to fight
Body in Blade I enter battle, demanding the blood of my enemy, demanding victory,

The enemy is on all sides and I am poised, ready.
I am,
I am my enemy,
And the disease in my mind is ready to die.

+Lj